Garden of Gratitude
“'Thank you' is the best prayer that anyone could say. I say that one a lot. Thank you expresses extreme gratitude, humility, understanding.”
Alice Walker
When I was a teenager and would lay in my bed preparing to drift off to sleep, I used to thank God in my prayers for everything he had done for me that day. I wouldn’t really get into specifics, mind you. I’d just say, “God, thank you for everything,” so that I’d be sure to cover everything. It was more of a generic “let me thank Him before I go to sleep and make sure to thank Him for everything so He doesn’t think I’ve forgotten about Him, which would then make Him angry with me.” I had “daddy” issues, and as those things often play out, it influenced my attitude and beliefs about my Heavenly Father. Gratitude was motivated by guilt and obligation. There wasn’t much, if any, joy involved. It was something I felt I had to do to avoid bad things, not a response to good things.
Thankfully, my attitude towards gratitude has grown. (pun intended) I’ve come to see that the attitude of gratitude is very much like a garden. Now, I am not much of a gardener, and by not much of a gardener I mean not at all. I have what some would call a “brown” thumb. I have friends that love to garden, and so I’ve learned a few things along the way. A garden must be tended to. Seeds must be planted. In order for growth to take place, the right soil and proper amounts of water and sunlight/shade must be used. In the same way, gratitude must be cultivated with much care, attention, and vigilance.
“The grass is greener on the other side.”
This would be a formula for stunting gratitude growth in the garden of my life. Comparing myself to others steals my joy. Comparison is a thankfulness-killer. Living under the delusion that I’d be better off with someone else’s possessions or circumstances is deception that leads to misery. Greener doesn’t always mean better. On the flip side, “The grass is greener where you water it” will sow seeds of gratitude and contentment. It places the focus on the garden that has been entrusted to me. In order for those seeds of gratitude to grow, I must be faithful to water them.
Social media gives us the ability to sneak peeks at so many people’s “lawns” and see just how green they are. While many times it’s great to see what friends are up to, the distraction and temptation to comparison, condemnation, and critical assumptions/judgement can be overwhelming. Weeds of jealousy and bitterness can suck the life out of my garden pretty quickly. I mean, would I know and be aware of all of these details with so many people if I didn’t scroll through my Facebook and Instagram feeds? Probably not. The Lord has used these opportunities to grow me in faithfulness to water my own lawn. To tend to the garden I’ve been given and not everyone else’s is one of the most powerful catalysts for growth. Tending to the thankfulness for the people and situations that are actually a part of the garden of my life. This helps me to stay focused on what I’ve been called to keep my focus on. Faithfulness to water my own lawn, and pulling weeds as needed tend to the garden I’ve been given, while helping cultivate the seeds of gratitude.
"Get To" vs. "Have to"
Another practice that has helped me cultivate the seeds of gratitude in my life has to do with the words I choose to use. Specifically, the use of “get to” versus “have to.” I’m pretty passionate about words and how they are used. Words employed wisely as they are intended are incredibly effective. Something I get to do is a privilege. A privilege is something I get to do, and a gift to be grateful for. Something I have to do is drudgery, and a difficult chore to plod through. My attitude of gratitude is amplified exponentially when I view the things I’ve been called to as a “get to” instead of a “have to.” How many things will I have the privilege to do in a given day? Let’s switch out some “have to’s” with “get to’s” and see what happens. I GET to wash oodles of dishes from the tons of food in our fridge that we are eating. I GET to help pick up the trash from the mess that was made when we had family and friends over that love and care for us so well. I GET to exercise with my family when my husband gets home from work this evening, because we can run, jump, walk, and just move our bodies and be active. I GET to read and study, and have the ability to understand and process what I am reading. I GET to fill my heart, soul, and mind with God's truth, along with other truths he sends my way through literature. “Have to” equals burden, while “get to” equals privilege, blessing, and GIFT!
Sowing and reaping; planting and harvest. What you plant now will be ready for harvest later. Sowing seeds of gratitude is hard work. Tending to the garden of gratitude can be exhausting. It’s tedious and takes so long to show any signs of growth that we can see. Having to fight for an attitude of gratitude doesn’t make it any less worth it. Even reluctant steps of obedience and discipline bear fruit. Start small, and find something - anything - and just give thanks. I can choose to focus on what I don’t have. I can choose to focus on what my family doesn’t have. I can choose to focus on the people that are no longer with me (literally or figuratively) that meant the world to me. I can also choose to focus on what I DO have. I can choose to focus on the grass I’ve been asked to water, and the garden I’ve been called to tend . Thankfulness; a heart of gratitude, which isn’t just reserved for Thanksgiving.
Recounts Are Okay
One quick note about thankfulness and counting our blessings: recounts are okay. A sign with that reminder hangs in our living room, and I love it so much because of how it prompts me to dwell on such simple yet profound truth. I can thank him for that same blessing over and over again. He won’t tire of hearing from me about that one thing, or those many things. We can express our gratitude to and for God again and again. Nothing helps my garden of gratitude grow more than gratitude. Thankfulness bears fruit to more thankfulness. Sowing and reaping; a heart of gratitude, which leads to a harvest of gratitude
As I lay in bed these days, things have changed quite a bit. It’s been several decades since my teen years. I still thank God for everything that He has done for me. The heart of angst longing for approval and racked with guilt is gone. I am happy to report that it has been replaced with a heart of gratitude. A heart that is thankful for who I am and whose I am. I have been given fresh eyes to see that I have a garden to tend to; fresh eyes to see the gift in my garden, which turns out is the recommended soil needed to cultivate even more gratitude growth.
“Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift.” 2 Corinthians 9:15