Loving Others: Practically Impractical in So Many Ways #5
weakness as an invitation + two books to add to your reading list
Welcome to our series on loving others: Practically Impractical in So Many Ways, notes to myself as I take steps (the faith and hope-filled, clumsy and imperfect kind) in loving others in practical (and impractical) ways.
Help a co-worker with some work they’re struggling with.
Back in 1993, a Psychology major helped open the door to a career in Vocational Training and Human Resources. My last day on the job as an off-site Human Resources Manager with an employee leasing firm was almost 24 years ago, which means I haven’t had co-workers in the traditional sense for a really long time. I almost blew off this particular challenge in our loving others series because of it.
Almost.
Since my time as a co-worker back in the day, I’ve been “one who works with another” over the years in the different communities and groups formed around my freelance work. For the past six-ish years specifically, the formal and informal writing communities I’m part of have brought a whole new and unexpected group of work colleagues into my life that I’m really grateful for.
I’m looking at you, writers.
Co-workers are simply people who work with each other, just like a writer is simply a person that writes. It doesn’t matter if the words written ever end up in a book. In fact, publishing a book isn’t even a goal for quite a few of my writing friends.
For those of us that do have book publishing goals, having a book launch is a huge part of that process. Launching a book into the world is a joyfully vulnerable process for an author. In the midst of all the happiness and excitement, this really important part of book marketing can be extremely challenging work, which usually means most writers are experiencing intense struggle in the midst of all the joy.
Being a book launch team member is a big commitment, and one I take very seriously. Life as I know lately has meant not being as available to support book launches (among other things) as I have in the past. There’s a slowing down that’s just a natural part of the aging process, and a reality I’ve been keenly aware of since I hit my fifties. Add to that the slowing down that’s also a natural part of the grieving process (at least for me it has), as well as the slowdown that usually accompanies reading and researching for some future writing and speaking projects. All of this slowdown means I’ve been all up in my feelings lately (also a hint to those writing and speaking projects I’m working on).
An extremely limited attention bandwidth has been my constant companion for months.
Because I don’t have the capacity I’m used to, it’s made me very protective of my head and heart space. Areas of strength I used to count on have become a showcase of weakness I just can’t shake. I’d rather keep to myself until I’m back to normal, whatever that means.
Could that limited attention bandwidth I’ve labeled as a hindrance actually be an invitation? An invitation to show up as I am and give what I’m able to as-is?
I’m reminded of someone else who showed up as-is and gave her all:
Just then he looked up and saw the rich people dropping offerings in the collection plate. Then he saw a poor widow put in two pennies. He said, “The plain truth is that this widow has given by far the largest offering today. All these others made offerings that they’ll never miss;
she gave extravagantly what she couldn’t afford—she gave her all!”
Luke 21:1-4 MSG (emphasis mine)
What if the all I’m able to give in weakness is the all I’m supposed to give?
I used to think that sharing the gifts I’ve been entrusted with meant I had to use them in love and service to God and others to the point of exhaustion every. single. time.
Now I know that rest and not doing all the things is a gift too.
So instead of guilt over book launches I can’t give my all to like I’m used to, I will give what I can from what I have - one recently released book and one soon-to-be released book I strongly recommend you add to your reading list:
A companion for the ache.
wrote the book she needed to read. She wrote as the Sparrow flies to answer the questions left by a life that had scraped her raw, down to the bones of her very faith—to reckon with the God who was still present in her deepest suffering (and was somehow through it all, still showing her he loved her.) Grace wrote it to understand the God who sees the sparrows fall, and still sometimes lets them. She wrote it to understand that love is still worth it, even when it hurts.The welcome of God changes everything.
invites us into a gentle-but-sturdy approach to belonging, rooted in the welcome of God. After years contemplating how she fit in and trying to earn acceptance, she realized "belonging is not something to attain, but someone to become." Through narrative, research, Scripture, and spiritual practice, The Way of Belonging guides us to a picture of belonging as a way of being—a posture of welcome that is ours to embrace and extend.
Over the years, both Grace and Sarah’s words have encouraged me in my faith, as well as my journey as a writer. I know their words will be a blessing and encouragement to you too.
What are some ways you can come alongside and help co-workers in work they may be struggling through? Even if it’s not in the way you’d hoped, it’s in the way you’re able to.
The all we can give in weakness is the all we’re supposed to give.
(If you’re a writer - or know a writer - that has a recently released or soon-to-be released book you’d like to recommend, feel free to share in the comments.)
Until next time,
Becky
This is beautiful, Becky - and that pic! ❤️ “I’d rather keep to myself until I’m back to normal, whatever that means.” So resonate with this!🙏🏻💗
“What if the all I’m able to give in weakness is the all I’m supposed to give?” This is such a good question. And thank you for including The Way of Belonging. Your support means so much. 💙