Keeping No Record of Wrongs: Wiping Out the Red on my One Another Ledger
"I've been compromised. I've got red on my ledger. Now I need to wipe it out." (*tell me you're a Marvel fan without telling me you're a Marvel fan.) Keeping no record of wrongs seems like something only a superhero can do.
Last I checked, I'm not a superhero, at least not in that way. I could never do that.
In accounting terms, red means you're still in debt. Being "in the black" means you're all paid out. No one owes you a penny. Black Friday gets its name from this. So many stores operate in debt for most of the year. Stores make so much money in one day that they manage to pay off all debts and operate in profit. That one day erases all debts. Ledgers go from red to black in an instant.
A record of wrongdoing that's completely wiped out. That's what Black Widow was looking for in The Avengers. A debt must be paid. She was looking for a way to erase the bad stuff she had done.
And does not keep a record of wrongs.
I may not remember why I stepped into the kitchen this morning, but I can certainly remember so many of those that have wronged me down to the most minute detail. How do I not keep a record of it? Does it mean the situation - whatever it is - doesn't get acknowledged?
God doesn't hold my sin against me, and so I shouldn't keep a tally of how others have sinned against me. My sin has been removed from me, as far as the east is from the west. So if that's how God's love abounds towards me, that should be how my love reaches out towards others. The red in my God ledger is gone. That should impact the color in the accounting I keep with others.
Here's the thing: no matter how gifted and spot-on my discernment and gut reactions are, my record of wrong might be wrong. I don't have the whole story, all the details, or all the information all. the. time. Until I have proof of the contrary, I should expect the best. I want people to expect the best from me, so I should expect the best of others.
I should consider the evidence carefully before jumping to conclusions, because I don't always know what lies behind people's actions.
The more I struggle to love someone, the quicker I jump to judgment, and the more difficult it becomes to expect the best from them...ever. I see their ledger through rose-colored glasses, but not in the good way. In the "roses are red and they'll always owe me because of what they've done so their ledger will always be in the red" kind of way.
This is so incredibly hard. Expecting the best of others is definitely not one my strengths.
What if things are as they seem?
Evidence has been considered carefully, the best has been expected, and no conclusions have been jumped to. What the other person said or did is true - I've been wronged. What do I do then? How do I keep no record of wrong when I've actually been wronged?
I'm not even close to having all the answers here. Honestly, I probably have more questions than before I started. But this is what's come out of my wrestling with this so far: not holding a record of wrongs does not = throwing sound judgment out the window. It is not a call or command to naivety about those that oppose God and his revealed truth.
It seems like the ultimate contradiction: judge, but don't judge. I can and should discern what is best without ripping other people to shreds.
When I strip it all away, do I want God to deal with me the way I deal with others? Nope, the call and command is for me to deal with others as God deals with me. And that means I don't tear them apart with my judgment to make sure I'm paid what I'm owed.
It also means their ledgers should no longer be red in my eyes. Not because I am never wronged, and not because what is done to me doesn't matter. It's because the debt I could never pay was covered in Jesus on that Black Friday to end all Black Fridays. The red in my ledger being wiped clean makes a way for the ledgers I'm keeping on others to be paid in full too.