The Random Musings of a People-Pleasing Perfectionist
I've been thinking about some things lately. Specifically, I've been thinking about some words and what they mean. (Who am I kidding? This isn't breaking news: I've thought about what words mean before.) Do the words people-pleasing perfectionist mean anything to you?
I know, I know. Who doesn't know what perfectionist means? And people-pleaser? That one's pretty self-explanatory too. In case you're wondering...
Some definitions:
perfectionist -
A person that refuses to accept any standard short of perfection.
Hoping and praying what you've done isn't wrong because nothing short of excellence will ever do. As a result, you hyper-focus on doing all. the. things. perfectly.
people-pleaser -
Someone who cares A LOT about whether others like them, and always wants others to approve of their actions.
Perpetually wondering what people think, or how you'll look or be perceived by others. Hyper-analyzing other people's comments.
Some thoughts:
So, what did you think of those descriptions? I mean, with such positive attributes, why would anyone ever feel the need to recover from this? *insert sarcasm here.
In fact, most of the words that describe people-pleasing perfectionists do so in less than glowing terms. It's not surprising that most of my thoughts about being a people-pleasing perfectionist have revolved around all the not-so-nice aspects too.
So that's what I've been thinking about lately: what these words mean, and why the bleak side of being a people-pleasing perfectionist is all that's focused on. There's only so much lasting change focusing on the dark side of things can accomplish.
I mean, it can't all be bad, right?
Because of that, I thought I'd highlight some good in regards to these words for a change. Being a recovering people-pleasing perfectionist doesn't mean I can't also be the one who notices the good. Maybe because I'm a recovering people-pleasing perfectionist, I must fight even harder to notice the good.
Be the one who notices where the light pours through.
Some good news.
When I'm looking down on myself, it always helps to look up.
Her eyes are fixed upward where she is greeted by Everlasting Love with Divine and open arms...
where she is reminded with every breath, there is so much to who you are,
my dear, my dear,
there is so much to who you are.
When I take the time to lift my gaze above the negative that I've grown accustomed to, even just a little bit, I can catch glimpses of things that I hadn't noticed before.
There is so much more than what you initially noticed.
A desire for goodness and excellence is good. Success as a goal is good.
A desire to take care of others is good. Being compassionate and loving others is good.
There is so much more to who I am than a list of negative or positive personality traits.
There is so much more to who I am than the not-so-nice side of these characteristics.
There is so much more to you.
Remember that.